[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “new side effect pops up. is it from the meds, or just another problem?”]

upped my dosage of depression meds just before the school year started. can’t tell if new insomnia problem is that, or stress, or just because my brain decided it didn’t have enough issues already.

[Trigger Warning: Suicide]

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “TOP: Children can’t be depressed.; BOTTOM: Oh, okay. I guess you should go tell my 5-year-old me that she isn’t actually wishing for death.”]

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Too afraid to meet people because of social anxiety; depression worsens when lonely.”]

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “presentation for school: bowels feel like a warzone”]

I have a presentation in less than an hour and my insides feel like clash of the titans

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “”your room is always messy! i won’t tolerate this any longer! why do you have to be like this?” - i don’t know mom it must be the laziness”]

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat. Text reads: “Finally start feeling better. Relapse horribly.”]

I’d love to put “mild” in front of “chronic illness” but it seems my body has other plans…

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Can’t eat because anxiety; Anxiety because can’t eat”]

I’ve been diagnosed with “generalized anxiety.” Everything triggers me. When I’m triggered, I can’t eat. When I can’t eat, my anxiety get’s worse. Yay.

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Heart rate goes down to 80. Get excited that medication is working. Heart rate goes back up to 120.”]

I have PTSD, among other things, and my heart rate rarely goes below 100BPM whenever I’m awake because I’m almost constantly hypervigilant. I’ve started taking medication for that + my depression, and I got excited today when I noticed my BPM had gone to 80, while I was awake, for the first time in several weeks. However, excitement can also cause heart rate to raise…

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “HOW CAN YOU HAVE OCD IF YOUR ROOM IS SO MESSY?” “…”]

I’ve actually gotten this a lot and it’s probably one of the most annoying things about the disorder. OCD isn’t just being obsessive over cleanliness, for some it is, but for a lot of people it isn’t. It’s a much more complex disorder than that. 

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “TOP: Carl Wheezer from Jimmy Neutron BOTTOM: Is your spirit animal”]

You know it’s true.

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “TOP: Have taken almost every med you see on TV BOTTOM: Not sure if proud or ashamed…”]

Sorry for submitting so many of these.  It’s been a chronic illness cat kind of week…

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “You want normal sleep schedule? No can has.”]

Since being put on my new anti-depressant I have had a jump up in insomnia. I am either mildly manic and unable to sleep or I fall into a 13 hour deep sleep that is hard to be woken from. I was given sleep aids but they either don’t help or, they make me pass out for over 13 hours. I’ve tried all sorts of relaxation techniques now I am going to try exercise maybe it will make it so I don’t have the spoons to move and then I will have no choice but to sleep. 

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “FEELS GREAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WEEKS,HAVE SEX, SPEND WEEKS RECOVERING.”]

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “”Sooo does this mean you’re contagious? Can I catch what you have if we have sex?” “Hahaha no sexual consent rescinded”]”

Just recently met a totally awesome guy who I really thought was boyfriend material. He seemed really understanding and supportive of me for my illnesses. Then he asked me this. Needless to say, there will be no second date.

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.  Text reads “Need to refill prescriptions, have pharmacy number memorized.”]

A shocking discovery even for me.