[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Describe your meds behavior as if they were people with personalities”]

Nuvigil: very punctual, but has to be the center of attention. Gives me a tension headache for 15 minutes when it kicks in to let me know it is there. Drama queen.

Neurotin: Reliable, quiet, but prone to forget things. Friends call him “slow” but he is really quite good at what he does. Just no one understands how he’s that good.

Hydrocodone: That friend who is always late, and you really aren’t sure if you should invite them over again after they leave, but man you had a nice nap while they were around.

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: Finally find med that works for constipation, causes intense jaw pain to return]

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat. Text reads: “Pee on doctor… every time you get an exam”]

Every time I get a pelvic exam, which is really often because of my various chronic illnesses, I tell my doctors I have interstitial cystitis. Sometimes they’re even specialists in interstitial cystitis. And they still don’t believe me that poking and prodding my bladder from both inside and outside of me, or telling me to bear down for them because “you just went to the bathroom two minutes ago, nothing will happen” will always result in me accidentally peeing on them. But it does. Every time.

I always warn them well in advance what’ll cause it. They always do it anyway. And they are always surprised.

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat. Text reads: “Orgasm as analgesic… oops debilitating endorphin addiction”]

In response to this very relevant chronic illness cat. Doing better recently, but I still have to watch myself carefully for high-seeking and crashes.

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Shows friend without chronic illness funny meme. Replies with a “?”.”]

True story no one else understands this blog but us chronic illness peeps hahahahahah

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Top: Have Hemorrhoids one day, First Seizure the next. Bottom: Is 2013 over yet?”]

Sigh, my one wish when I turned 20 last November was not to be diagnosed with anything this year… On the SECOND day of 2013 I get Hemorrhoids, and on the third… a Seizure! So much for not being diagnosed with anything.

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Doctor recommend getting blood taken - Instant panic because of the future pain.”]

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Meet someone with same condition as you. New best friend.”]

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Drop cane on arthritic foot”]

I am still getting used to this dang thing….

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “part time cane user”]

Anyone else out there?

I work in retail because my job options are seriously limited. I’m on my feet for a good amount of that time, but I don’t use a cane at work because I’m afraid someone would decide I couldn’t do my job. (Anyone else out there in retail?) But I also have serious joint problems in my knees, hips, and back that cause pain and numbness. So outside of work, I do use a cane, because every reduction in the stress on my joints helps a little and makes life bearable.

Still waiting to run into someone from work at the grocery store and be accused of faking it - yeah, I am, I’m faking being able-bodied for 30 hours out of my week so that I can eat, pay rent, and have health insurance! The cane helps, so I use it. It’s that simple.

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Don’t function because you slept too long, don’t function because you didn’t. You can only chose one.”]

 

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat. Text reads: ANXIOUSLY AWAITING TO SEE IF I INHERITED THIS DISEASE]

My dad has a list as long as the house of hereditary diseases from his father’s side. I’m the only one to inherit said diseases including mental illnesses, asthma, insomnia, chronic pain and too many more. Needless to say, I’m awaiting symptoms. 

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Low blood sugar, too nauseous to eat”]

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Spend so much time in bed without earrings in, piercings close up.”]

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat. Text reads: “Third doctor in two months gives choice between med that has already failed and allergy-inducing med”]

Oh, the joys of being allergic to morphine.